from now on my penis is your penis
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
