Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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