Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
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