It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
