Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
