is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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