I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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