Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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