Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
