Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
