I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
So vagazzling was a success
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
