I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize