the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
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I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
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Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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