It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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