Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
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He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
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I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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