I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
did you just send me my own nude
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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