The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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