Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
