You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you win again, gameday.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
