could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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