let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Randomize
