I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
