He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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