is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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