Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
two words...techno handjob
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but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
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Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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