Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
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