why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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