Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
