New low: just hacked my moms facebook
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
what is it with giant penises always finding me
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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