i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
