yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
tonight lets celebrate not being married
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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