it was like eating out sand paper
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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