elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I would fuck him just for his dog
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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