Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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