Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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