Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize