Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
