So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I didn't notice because vodka
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
