hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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