Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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