3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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