Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
