Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
