You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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