Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
