it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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