"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
