My brain says no but my pants say off.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
