Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
