he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
