he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
