So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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