Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
