My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize
