pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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