Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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