the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
