shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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