The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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