I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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