well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
