Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
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