He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
