That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
