apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Sext me about skeletons
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
